It starts subtly. A reluctance to go to school. A headache on Sunday night. Irritability over small things. As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch your once-carefree child seem weighed down by worries you can’t see. You’re left wondering: Is this just a phase, or is it something more?
Understanding the difference between everyday stress and clinical anxiety is one of the most common—and challenging—parts of parenting a tween. Their brains are developing at a rapid pace, and their emotional world is becoming incredibly complex. The good news? By learning the signs and having the right tools, you can become their anchor in the storm.
Tween anxiety rarely shows up as a clear "I feel anxious." Instead, it masks itself in physical complaints and behavioral changes.
Physical Symptoms: Frequent stomachaches or headaches (especially before school or social events), changes in eating or sleeping patterns, restlessness or fidgeting.
Emotional & Behavioral Signs: Intense irritability or anger, perfectionism and fear of failure, avoidance of activities they used to enjoy, seeking constant reassurance, difficulty concentrating.
When anxiety hits, logic often goes out the window. These simple, grounding exercises can help your tween find their center again.
The "Thought Cloud" Meditation: Tell them to imagine their anxious thoughts are just clouds passing by in the sky. They can notice them, label them ("ah, there's the 'I'm going to fail' cloud"), and then let them drift away without having to hold onto them.
When to Seek Professional Help
While these tools are powerful, it's crucial to know when to ask for support. If anxiety is consistently interfering with your tween's ability to go to school, maintain friendships, or function daily, it’s time to consult a pediatrician or child therapist.
Build Resilience Through Emotional Learning
Anxious brains are often stuck in a cycle of "what if." Our courses are specifically designed to break this cycle. In our Emotional You: Manage Your Emotions course, tweens learn to identify anxiety, understand its triggers, and apply practical techniques like the ones above in a supportive, peer-based environment.
👉 Learn more about our course on emotional regulation (here) and give your tween the tools to find their calm.
Ready to put these ideas into practice? Explore our free eBook library with many different resources for you and your tween. It’s a great tool to help your child build a growth mindset and find value in the learning process.